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November 2003
Released: 2003, Spinefarm Records
Rating: 0.5/5
Reviewer: Luxi Lahtinen

Your nose can recognize a faint smell of shit when it has been brought enough close to your nostrils, right? How funny, I can smell something ´unpleasing´ in my nose right now... where the hell it is coming from? Uh, it comes much closer than I thought originally. I remember placing a new CD from a band called ´TOC´ into my CD-player just before when I took a shit. Ah, never mind, now I´m feeling a bit more relieved anyway even if the smell of shit grows stronger and stronger all the time. Strange, isn´t it? Must be because of my recent ´pit-stop´ in a toilet, I guess.

Well, Throne of Chaos, or better ´ex-Throne of Chaos´ with even a new shitty name, TOC, have traveled a long road (with too many crossroads, I´m afraid...) since their very good debut album, MENACE & PRAYER, with its all straight ´ChildenofBodomisque´ hints here and there on the album. Even their 2nd and previous album titled PERVERTIGO that came out last year, already showed that there was a drastically huge musical change raging through the band´s ´natural development´ (yeah... sure...) toward some unknown waters where these guys had never been fishing before. On PERVERTIGO these 5 young and talented dudes in Throne of Chaos dragged themselves away from a relatively technical, keyboard orientated C.o.B. –style of Death/Thrash Metal closer to Power Metal sounds which caused me an uncounted amount of goose pimples back then already. PERVERTIGO was still a relatively enjoyable album after all; partly thanks to Niklas Isfeldt (Dream Evil) for providing some of great vocals for this particular album.

LOSS ANGELES, TOC´s 3rd album and their 2nd for Spinefarm Records, is the shit. I mean, it´s literally THE SHIT that stinks many miles far away from its location and you hardly can go into hiding when this uncomfortable and unpleasant reek hits your nose. The label´s info kit that came along with this promo, ´tries´ to give a reasonable enough explanation what people have to be prepared for: “Loss Angeles” will surprise many. Expect everything between from pure Rock´n´Roll to Proge to Thrash to Pop to even small splashes of nightclub jazz...”. But yeah, everything that has bravely been announced in the info kit of LOSS ANGELES, hits a stick even deeper and more firmly into the heart of pure shit. Well, everything else that has been written about LOSS ANGELES, is unfortunate true, but ´the Thrash part´ remained as a little mystery to me. Ok, I do admit, there´s one song on LOSS ANGELES that actually represents Thrash Metal quite strongly indeed with some catchy and heavy Thrash-riffs and all in it, but I´m afraid that doesn´t help to save the album sinking deeper into a massive, stinking sea of a bunny´s poop. If you get a chance to get thrashy “Break-n-Neck” as a MP3, then use that chance ´coz I bet you don´t wanna pay for 18 bucks the album that only has just one decent on it? Or do you?

Throne of Chaos, or TOC or by whatever retarded Rap band´s name they want to be called nowadays, can officially be declared to turn shit now. So sad, but so unfortunately true... Fuck, I´m done. I need to go and wash this shit off my hands now for good.
Track Listing

01. The Window
02. Mary Lou Is Dead
03. Acid Highway
04. Gothamburg
05. Blue Lady
06. Wait
07. The Blue Lady Suite
08. Break-a-Neck
09. Bite the Bullet
10. Smoke on the Water (Deep Purple –cover)


Tuomas Nieminen – Vocals
Taneli Kiljunen – Guitar
Joiku Harmaja – Guitar
Carl Sjöblom – Keyboard
Rasmus Nora – Bass
Snake Laitinen – Drums

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