Released: 2003, Spinefarm Records
Reviewer: Luxi Lahtinen
Your nose can recognize a faint smell of shit when it has been brought enough close to your nostrils, right? How funny, I can smell something ´unpleasing´ in my nose right now... where the hell it is coming from? Uh, it comes much closer than I thought originally. I remember placing a new CD from a band called ´TOC´ into my CD-player just before when I took a shit. Ah, never mind, now I´m feeling a bit more relieved anyway even if the smell of shit grows stronger and stronger all the time. Strange, isn´t it? Must be because of my recent ´pit-stop´ in a toilet, I guess.
Well, Throne of Chaos, or better ´ex-Throne of Chaos´ with even a new shitty name, TOC, have traveled a long road (with too many crossroads, I´m afraid...) since their very good debut album, MENACE & PRAYER, with its all straight ´ChildenofBodomisque´ hints here and there on the album. Even their 2nd and previous album titled PERVERTIGO that came out last year, already showed that there was a drastically huge musical change raging through the band´s ´natural development´ (yeah... sure...) toward some unknown waters where these guys had never been fishing before. On PERVERTIGO these 5 young and talented dudes in Throne of Chaos dragged themselves away from a relatively technical, keyboard orientated C.o.B. –style of Death/Thrash Metal closer to Power Metal sounds which caused me an uncounted amount of goose pimples back then already. PERVERTIGO was still a relatively enjoyable album after all; partly thanks to Niklas Isfeldt (Dream Evil) for providing some of great vocals for this particular album.
LOSS ANGELES, TOC´s 3rd album and their 2nd for Spinefarm Records, is the shit. I mean, it´s literally THE SHIT that stinks many miles far away from its location and you hardly can go into hiding when this uncomfortable and unpleasant reek hits your nose. The label´s info kit that came along with this promo, ´tries´ to give a reasonable enough explanation what people have to be prepared for: “Loss Angeles” will surprise many. Expect everything between from pure Rock´n´Roll to Proge to Thrash to Pop to even small splashes of nightclub jazz...”. But yeah, everything that has bravely been announced in the info kit of LOSS ANGELES, hits a stick even deeper and more firmly into the heart of pure shit. Well, everything else that has been written about LOSS ANGELES, is unfortunate true, but ´the Thrash part´ remained as a little mystery to me. Ok, I do admit, there´s one song on LOSS ANGELES that actually represents Thrash Metal quite strongly indeed with some catchy and heavy Thrash-riffs and all in it, but I´m afraid that doesn´t help to save the album sinking deeper into a massive, stinking sea of a bunny´s poop. If you get a chance to get thrashy “Break-n-Neck” as a MP3, then use that chance ´coz I bet you don´t wanna pay for 18 bucks the album that only has just one decent on it? Or do you?
Throne of Chaos, or TOC or by whatever retarded Rap band´s name they want to be called nowadays, can officially be declared to turn shit now. So sad, but so unfortunately true... Fuck, I´m done. I need to go and wash this shit off my hands now for good.