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Theatres Des Vampires
December 2003
Released: 2003, Beyond Productions
Rating: 1.0/5
Reviewer: Lord of the Wasteland

Theatres des Vampires is an Italian band who is fixated on vampirism and all things evil in their lyrics. Blending death metal with just plain bad 80s goth, this band is a third-string Cradle of Filth rip-off, right down to the buzzing guitars and opera-singing female in the background. Unfortunately, the vocal style is drawn from early Bauhaus and even touches of The Cure, so don’t expect the charismatic stylings of Dani Filth. Imagine the sounds your grandmother would make while dry-heaving and you get what “Lord Vampyr” calls singing.

VAMPYRISME is a re-recording of the band’s first album, 1996’s VAMPYRISME, NECROPHILIE, NECROSADISME, NECROPHAGIE. The song titles have changed slightly (eg. “Within The Dark Domain” has become “The Dark Domain”) but I cannot compare these new recordings to the originals having never heard them. Former Cradle Of Filth guitarist Gian Pyres and ex-Christian Death vocalist/guitarist Valor guest on “The Enchanted Forest” and “Lacrima Christi”, respectively. That doesn’t make them better.

The first track, “Vampyrisme”, is a creepy, spoken word effort complete with a church organ intro. “The Snow Turns Red” has it’s moments as well but is such a blatant attempt to be Cradle Of Filth, Dani should be calling his lawyers. The worst track is “Walpurga’s Night”, which embodies everything that was wrong with 80s goth. Gloomy, plodding vocals coupled with a keyboard-heavy faux atmosphere reminds me of the crap that the weird kids who wore all black and thought they were being alternative listened to. The music on VAMPYRISME is not all bad but the vocals are absolutely horrendous. This is truly one of the worst CDs I have ever heard in my life. If this is the “improved” re-recording, I hope I am never forced to listen to the original because I would rather have a million open sores on my body and be forced to jump in a vat of Tabasco sauce.
Track Listing

1. Vampyrisme
2. Twilight
3. Beyond The Forest
4. In The Wood
5. Ancient Damned
6. Woods Of Walacchia, Part 1
7. The Dark Domain
8. Walpurga’s Night
9. The Snow Turns Red
10. The Impaler
11. Kingdom Of Vampires
12. The Enchanted Forest
13. Lucretia
14. Lacrima Christi


Alexander “Lord Vampyr”—Vocals
Robert “Morgoth”—Guitars
Alex “Incubus”—Lead Guitar/Acoustic Guitar
Zimon “Blutsauger”—Bass
Fabian “Necros”—Keyboards
Gabriel “Blasfemator”—Drums
Scarlet—Female & Backing Vocals

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