Released: 2006, Nuclear Blast Records
Reviewer: Lord of the Wasteland
The hyper-psychotic thrash espoused by Terror 2000 on their third album, TERROR FOR SALE, finds things in much the same vein as FASTER DISASTER and SLAUGHTERHOUSE SUPREMACY. Comprised of Bjorn “Speed” Strid of Soilwork and Darkane’s Klas Ideberg, Terror 2000’s tongue-in-cheek lyrics and maelstrom of riffs can be a bit much to take, especially with the harsh, almost black metal production style that favors the snares and cranked-up treble, while leaving the bass guitar of Dan Svensson almost inaudible. TERROR FOR SALE sounds like the handiwork of a liquor-fuelled, weekends-only side project and one can almost picture Strid & Co. howling in the studio at the absurdity of the lyrics. At times, the music is so blindingly fast that it becomes amelodic and the over-the-top silliness and overt “nudge nudge, wink wink” attitude treads near Zimmer’s Hole territory. That aside, TERROR FOR SALE can be enjoyed as a guilty pleasure because it is obvious the band themselves are hardly in this for the artistic merit.
“Five Star Prison,” an ode to the Swedish penal system, instantly blows your hair back with blistering riffs and a wailing solo that slices through the air. “Metal Mosh Massacre” is pure, unadulterated speed metal that hits hard and fast. This song is a live set staple with its anthemic ode to metal in general, but more specifically, the greatness of Terror 2000. Strid’s Halford-like falsettos are a real hoot, too. The apex of silliness is found on “King Kong Song,” though. Strid’s cadence in the chorus is so unapologetically infectious that you can’t help but sing along to “I wanna be a hunk with a metal guitar…I need some kicks and some Kerry King licks” not to mention the ridiculous “I will sing you a song song, ‘cause I know how to pling plong, just like playing the ping pong.” “Wrath of The Cookie Monster” uses self-effacing humor to poke fun at the copycat bands that continue to rape and pillage the Swedish melodic sound (“In Flames and Soilwork have just sold out and one of its singers is getting bald”) but a smoking solo from Ideberg is dropped in the middle of all the chaos. “Satan’s Barbecue” goes at the same full-throttle pace (Strid has never sounded more “death metal” than he does here) as the rest of the tracks but an underlying groove really kicks this song into gear and yet another Ideberg whammy-dance punctuates things at the midway point. The brilliantly-titled “Liquor Saved Me From Sports” features another gem of a chorus (“Liquor saved me from sports, I’d rather sit by the pool in my sperm-stained shorts, and get fucked up”) that really captures the whole devil-may-care attitude of Terror 2000.
The final three tracks of the CD really take a turn for the worst. “Mummy Metal For The Masses” is an oddly-paced track with vocals that seem out of place. Strid runs the entire spectrum of heavy metal vocal stylings on TERROR FOR SALE but for some reason, things just don’t seem right on this track. The all-Swedish lyrics of “Stattena T(h)rash” are awkward and the gibberish, grunts, bleats and Donald Duck-speak spewed forth on “Bloody Blues Blaster” is a bizarre, even for this band, way to end things.
Taken for what it is—a whiplash-paced speed metal album with ridiculous lyrics—TERROR FOR SALE is a fun way to spend 40 minutes. The boys’ full-time gigs in Soilwork, Darkane and Constructdead are certainly more cerebral affairs but if you don’t look too deep into this, you can sit back with a smile while the band tears your face off with old-school riffs, solos and glorious goes through every cliché ripped from the heavy metal handbook.
KILLER KUTS: “Five Star Prison,” “Metal Mosh Massacre,” “King Kong Song,” “Satan’s Barbecue,” “Liquor Saved Me From Sports”