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This Time Its Personal
Released: 2000, Beastmaster Recordings
Y'know, a great vocalist once screamed, "The road to hell is paved with good intentions". If that is the case, then our illustrious heavy metal leader EvilG is destined to have an extremely hot afterlife. See, the only reason that I ever thought about reviewing this coaster/Frisbee is that it came from EvilG. Well, thanks a lot! That's 31:19 of my life that I'll never get back! (Just kiddin' ya EvilG! Haha)
Seriously though, Scratching Post is the biggest piece of crap that I've had to listen to in a long time. Being the vehicle of vocalist/guitarist Nicole Hughes, S.P. plays a brand of hard rock (I will NOT call it metal) of the most annoying kind. You know it; cheap recycled riffs from the alterna-rock garbage heap played out underneath an irritating alterna-whine. And goddamn do Hughes' vocals suck. She has the most annoying valleygirl whine that I've ever heard. She seriously drags down the ass-kicking reputation of women like Doro and Tarja from Nightwish. Hughes is absolutely useless as a front-woman. I mean, check out her "Oh my God, kill me!' at the beginning of the ridiculous "Pants Down". Believe me Nicole, if you keep "singing" this crap, someone might be inclined to!
Don't even get me started on the stupidity that passes for lyrics on this album. From "Keep Looking My Way": "Keep looking my way/I'll blow you a kiss and make you feel better/Keep looking my way/Gimme a chance, I'll make you forget her". Yeah, pure poetry. Didn't that kind of lyric get officially termed "stupid" in 1983? Don't even get me started on the repetition of the title in "Game Over/Game On".
What's even worse is that the band decided to attempt death metal vocals (?!?) on "Wake Up You're On Fire". You can just guess how successful that was. When the best part of the album is the first 30 seconds of the opening riff, you know you've got trouble. Needless to say, S.P. is pure B.S. I've got a great song title for you guys, how about "Go Away/Fuck Off"? How this band is signed and on it's second release, I'll never know.
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