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February 2005
Released: 2004, Napalm Records
Rating: 1.0/5
Reviewer: Lord of the Wasteland

We really should install something in our e-mail address that refuses any messages from non-metal bands wanting us to review their CDs. We could call it a “metal detector”!! HA HA HA HA HA….

Anyway, PLASTICLOVE is the latest slice of misery that I have begrudgingly waded through and it comes from Switzerland’s Neospastics, who seem to have spent a great deal of time pining over the lost days of Kraftwerk and 80s Goth pop, with just a twist of Marilyn Manson for good measure. Pablo Kissner is the brains behind Neospastics and with the help of Nadja Mantecca on keyboards, he churns out twelve songs (and one remix) on the band’s debut.

PLASTICLOVE starts out promising with the first three tracks—“Songs For Assholes,” “XXX For President” and “Dance Another Day”—possessing catchy melodies and clever titles. These songs are NOT metal but do contain enough of an edge that I could look the other way. “Alienstar” is also a decent rock song but other than these tracks, things go south in a hurry and devolve into Euro club beats and heavy programming. Kissner’s voice is that archetypal mix between David Bowie and Manson that bands like this seem to have but judging by PLASTICLOVE, he could only dream of possessing a shred of either man’s creativity or talent. Mantecca’s background vocals are much more pleasing to the ear and add a nice touch to “Songs For Assholes” and “Bubblegum Reality.” That’s about all the compliments that can be bestowed upon this CD, though.

While EvilG and our crack tech team get working on the “metal detector” e-mail filter, I’m sure PLASTICLOVE will not be the last non-metal CD to infiltrate our mighty metal fortress here at Metal Rules, but in the meantime, all I can do is put out fair warning to unsuspecting metalheads who might otherwise get sucked into buying CDs by bands like Neospastics.
Track Listing

1. Songs For Assholes
2. XXX For President
3. Dance Another Day
4. Bubblegum Reality
5. Arrival Openmind
6. Here From Mars
7. Alienstar
8. Leave Me
9. Love Behind Your Sky
10. Emotion
11. Reload
12. The 77th Divinity
13. Dance Another Day (Remix by Tilo Wolff)


Pablo Kissner—Vocals/Guitar
Mike Allram—Bass
Nadja Mantecca—Keyboards
Bruno Naf—Drums

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» Plasticlove
by Lord of the Wasteland

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