Released: 2004, Napalm Records
Reviewer: Lord of the Wasteland
We really should install something in our email@example.com
e-mail address that refuses any messages from non-metal bands wanting us to review their CDs. We could call it a “metal detector”!! HA HA HA HA HA….
Anyway, PLASTICLOVE is the latest slice of misery that I have begrudgingly waded through and it comes from Switzerland’s Neospastics, who seem to have spent a great deal of time pining over the lost days of Kraftwerk and 80s Goth pop, with just a twist of Marilyn Manson for good measure. Pablo Kissner is the brains behind Neospastics and with the help of Nadja Mantecca on keyboards, he churns out twelve songs (and one remix) on the band’s debut.
PLASTICLOVE starts out promising with the first three tracks—“Songs For Assholes,” “XXX For President” and “Dance Another Day”—possessing catchy melodies and clever titles. These songs are NOT metal but do contain enough of an edge that I could look the other way. “Alienstar” is also a decent rock song but other than these tracks, things go south in a hurry and devolve into Euro club beats and heavy programming. Kissner’s voice is that archetypal mix between David Bowie and Manson that bands like this seem to have but judging by PLASTICLOVE, he could only dream of possessing a shred of either man’s creativity or talent. Mantecca’s background vocals are much more pleasing to the ear and add a nice touch to “Songs For Assholes” and “Bubblegum Reality.” That’s about all the compliments that can be bestowed upon this CD, though.
While EvilG and our crack tech team get working on the “metal detector” e-mail filter, I’m sure PLASTICLOVE will not be the last non-metal CD to infiltrate our mighty metal fortress here at Metal Rules, but in the meantime, all I can do is put out fair warning to unsuspecting metalheads who might otherwise get sucked into buying CDs by bands like Neospastics.