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The Arockalypse
May 2006
Released: 2006, Sony BMG Finland
Rating: 3.5/5
Reviewer: Luxi Lahtinen

How sweet it actually is as a thought that Finland´s own super-monsters, Lordi, will represent its own home country at the Eurovision Song Contest in Athens in 2006. Anyway, most of us Europeans surely remember from the past years that Finland has never really ´shone´ in the history of this very particular contest for its excellent song choices, so let´s hope "Hard Rock Hallelujah", absolutely the catchiest song off the band´s new record titled THE AROCKALYPSE, will change that fact for good - and prove everyone another fact even more convincing way that there really is something special in the water that the Finns drink. Good luck Lordi for the contest at least from all of Finns anyway!

THE AROCKALYPSE, the band´s 3rd full-length monstrous epos - featuring 12 brand-new Lordi cuts, is 110% pure Hard Rock and Heavy Metal entertainment, full of delicious and often-eaten cliches from the 80´s era where bands like Twisted Sister, Kiss, W.A.S.P., Accept and the likes ruled the world; highly theatrical, catchy as hell, somehow overly familiar, disturbingly addictive - and all this has just been squeezed through Lordi´s own monster-filter to get the right recipe for these 5 lovely-looking monsters´ sound. In other words, Lordi doesn´t offer anything groundbreaking or earth-shattering to the Heavy Metal fans, but just tries to do their very best to sound sinfully entertaining for everybody who has just ever dug some of those classic both Hard Rock and Heavy Metal bands whose imagos were/are strongly based on a visual side as well.

Lordi´s mixture of both Hard Rock - and Heavy Metal elements has always been sort of successful and very ear-friendly indeed. They are like a good and captivating cartoon with some exciting tales about horrendous selection of different monsters, added with sort of a musical tribute effort to gather together the best sides of certain strongly influential names from the eighties period of Hard Rock and Heavy Metal. And that´s exactly what it is a question about on THE AROCKALYPSE. It all sounds somehow familiar, safe, ´home-sweet-home´ - and is offered on a silver plate without any kinds of earth-shattering surprises or bigger thrillers at all. But don´t get me wrong because THE AROCKALYPSE is a good entertainment right from the beginning to the end for all those people who are only looking for to become entertained. Having said this, even a bunch of ´famous and well-known stars´ have understood Lordi´s main masterplan to be purely entertainers both musically as well as of course visually, too. Dee Snider´s voice can be heard in an intro called "SCG3 Special Report", "It Snows in Hell" features Bruce Kulick on lead guitar, Jay Jay French let his 6-stringer sing like a metallic siren in "The Chainsaw Buffet" - and sort of like a heavy icicle on the top of this mountain-high monster cake, Udo Dirkschneider does a great job in a song called "They Only Come Out at Night". By the help of all those 4 aforementioned gentlemen, THE AROCKALYPSE screams for pretty great entertainment values all in all - and that´s what most of us are after for anyway. If that´s something that pleases you well enough and your satisfaction level can be somewhat fulfilled by some of those listed elements, then Lordi´s got something on THE AROCKALYPSE for you for sure. If not, then I gotta assume your birthday is somewhere after the ´80s period of metal - or simply just skipped that particular era successfully for one reason or the other.
Track Listing

01. SCG3 Special Report
02. Bringing Back the Balls to Rock
03. The Deadite Girls Gone Wild
04. The Kids Who Wanna Play with the Dead
05. It Snows in Hell
06. Who´s Your Daddy
07. Hard Rock Hallelujah
08. They Only Come Out at Night
09. The Chainsaw Buffet
10. Good to Be Bad
11. The Night of the Loving Dead
12. Supermonstars (The Anthem of the Phantoms)


Lordi - Vocals
Amen - Guitars
Kita - Drums
Awa - Keyboards
Ox - Bass

Next review: » Lordi - The Arockalypse
Previous review: » Lordi - Scare Force One

The Arockalypse
July 2007
Released: 2006, The End Records
Rating: 4.0/5
Reviewer: Waspman

Admittedly, this review is a little behind the 8-ball, so for a very comprehensive look at Lordi and another opinion on this album, I suggest you check out the conveniently placed links to the bottom right for my esteemed colleague Luxi’s take.

Anyhow, by this point I don’t think that Lordi needs any introduction, as this Finnish sensation has swept across Europe with a slew of hit singles and the distinction of winning the EuroVision song contest. And of course, the band’s GWAR-inspired (read: ripped off) image has brought them a ton of press as well. Huzzah for them. What does this all mean for metal fans? Hopefully not much, as a band should live or die on its music. Thankfully for Lordi, the music is there in spades!

Firmly entrenched in the mid-‘80s commercial metal explosion, Lordi crank out riff after damned catchy riff that will stick to you like shit on the bathroom wall. Let me be clear: Lordi are doing absolutely NOTHING that hasn’t been done a million times before. OK, maybe their tongue in cheek, Evil Dead-inspired lyrics are relatively fresh, but the songs are pure trad ‘80s metal all the way. The thing is, THE AROCKALYPSE is done SO well, and is SO enjoyable, I just don’t give a fuck if it’s original or not. I know I’ve ragged on plenty of bands for being ripoffs or tired imitations, but I have also said that if you can play your chosen style with conviction, flair, and your own personal touch, a little plagiarism can be forgiven.

So anyway back to the disc at hand. Like I said, this is some catchy metal and you’ll be singing songs like “Kids Who Wanna Play with the Dead” and “The Chainsaw Buffet” long after the album’s over. Even Mighty Mouse himself, Udo Dirkschneider, puts in a raucous performance on “They Only Come Out at Night”.

When it’s all said and done, Lordi are simply fun to listen to. For a lighter (lyrically, not musically) take on classic metal, you won’t find anyone better today.
Track Listing

1) Special Report
2) Bringing Back the Balls to Rock
3) The Deadite Girls Gone Wild
4) The Kids Who Wanna Play With the Dead
5) It Snows in Hell
6) Who’s Your Daddy?
7) Hard Rock Hallelujah
8) They Only Come Out At Night
9) The Chainsaw Buffet
10) Good to be Bad
11) The Night of the Loving Dead
12) Supermonstars (The Anthem of the Phantoms)
13) Would You Love A Monsterman? (Bonus)
14) Mr. Killjoy (Bonus)
15) Evilove (Bonus)


Mr. Lordi: Vocals
Amen: Guitar
Ox: Bass
Awa: Keyboards
Kita: Drums

Next review: » Lordi - The Arockalypse (Special Edition)
Previous review: » Lordi - Scare Force One

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