AGGREGATED ASSAULT!

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Endo
Evolve
June 2001
Released: 2001, Columbia Records
Rating: 0.0/5
Reviewer: Michael De Los Muertos

Mallcore! There is almost nothing worse than being surprise-attacked by the pernicious poison of rap-metal, and finding your CD player infiltrated without warning by the sickening sounds of metal’s enemies waging auditory war against everything you believe in. Perhaps I should have been tipped off by the fact that Endo, a self-proclaimed “ferociously searing” band from Florida, is on a major label, and since major labels hold true metal in the same regard as most of us hold our feces, I should have known their promotional people would not have bothered to check what Metal-Rules.com is all about before sending this crap to us. So, since they have chosen to affront us by daring to send us this slab of complete, gut-wrenching garbage, I will return the favor by permitting my pen to savage its worthless expanse with as much vitriol as it can muster.



Basically everything you hate about mallcore is here – bald heads, Adidas clothes, warmed-over hip-hop riffs, vacuous arrangements, vocals that range from wanna-be Pantera screams to standard-issue electronically distorted “walkie-talkie” vox. Every single track of this offensive atrocity drives a knife into the side of true metal. THIS IS NOT METAL. It’s lame rap the consistency of vaguely gelatinous shit, quivering pathetically in the wind of popular culture. I can’t believe I actually stank up my stereo with this garbage long enough to give it an honest review, and I felt dirty and shamed afterwards by the experience. The fact that anyone would even bother sending this CD to us is a particularly vicious insult and shows a serious lack of understanding of metal fans and what they want to hear.



The bottom line is this: if you are tempted in the least to go anywhere NEAR this truly atrocious band, you deserve the experience of listening to this CD. If you ever doubt that mallcore must be wiped off the face of the earth like the vile, intelligence-killing plague it is, just pop EVOLVE into your stereo and hear for yourself to what depths the enemy can sink.

Next review: » Endominion - Invoking Deception
Previous review: » Endless Torture - At War with War





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