Released: 2005, Voodoo Nation Records
Reviewer: Lord of the Wasteland
I can only imagine that the members of Dog Faced Gods were indeed stoned when assembling the songs for their debut, STONED COUNCIL. This confusing mishmash of musical styles is compounded by simplistic musicianship, a lot of stupid lyrics and a rap version of one of the worst songs on the CD. From one song to the next, you get Down-like southern fried rock, Ministry-styled industrial, Limp Bizkit rap-metal, Cypress Hill drug odes and a Lynyrd Skynyrd cover. STONED COUNCIL may be as eclectic as all get out but to anyone with even moderate intelligence, this is a garage band who threw every song they have written together in the last several years on to a CD and hoped a few people might buy it. Let’s hope they are wrong because the press kit is as misleading as a pre-op Thai ladyboy, proclaiming them to be a “unique musical entity” when in fact Dog Faced Gods are as generic as no-name vanilla ice cream.
“Desperately” is a great rock song that would fit right in on several radio formats. Based on this track, STONED COUNCIL shows promise but things quickly go south. “Good Life” is a sludgy southern rocker with nods to Corrosion of Conformity and Down but “Brings Me Down” and the horrendous “Earth Is Hell” are the epitome of rap metal crap. Fred Durst himself wouldn’t even dare to release dreck like this! “Run, Run” is a mid-paced industrial-infused track along the lines of a slowed-down “Jesus Built My Hotrod” complete with distorted megaphone vocals. The gruesome twosome of “Intro” and “Water Pipe Bong” would be embarrassing even to the brain dead potheads in Cypress Hill. These songs truly sound like rejects from a 1994 album of theirs. Is the sound of a bubbling bong still funny?!?! And who exactly are lyrics like “It’s not a water pipe it’s a bong/Bong bong bong bong bong bong” repeated over and over aimed at impressing?? If this isn’t bad enough, the whining, woe-is-me/I’m-so-fucked-up-because-of-my-shitty-childhood lyrics would have Korn reaching for the puke bucket. Don’t forget to stick around for “Stand Alone [Rap Version]” which is even worse than the non-rap version (which coincidentally is full of raps, too) found earlier on the CD. Jesus…
STONED COUNCIL is a complete and utter waste of paper and plastic. The juvenile marijuana songs are one thing but reverting to the dead-and-buried rap metal genre on a 2005 release is the final nail in the coffin. If these guys apply themselves and figure out just what kind of music they want to play, they might be able to scrounge up a few good songs but these fifteen tracks are not them.
KILLER KUTS: “Desperately”