Released: 2006, Metal Blade Records
Reviewer: Gabriel C. Zolman
I hate myself for loving this.
On one hand, this is a solid, enjoyable metal release; on the other…I suspect we’re being mocked here. But really, with song titles like “Gods Of War & Open Sores,” and “Ripped Apart By The Juggernaut Of Fornication,” what the hell did you expect?
Every conceivable cliché is milked like python and prostate here: fruity Nintendotastic keyboards, standard-issue breakdowns, gang shouts, Viking/Swedish preoccupations, silly Manowar-ish lyrics that read as if they were written by Invader Zim…it often sounds as if someone took one of the more talented metalcore acts like Bleeding Through or The Agony Scene, handed them a copy of Children Of Bodom’s HateCrew Deathroll
CD, and said, “Here’s a blueprint, here’s some beer…write the perfect metal album!”
Saved by sheer attitude combined with galloping rhythms, gratuitous-but-qualitative solos and doublebass drumming, temper your expectations to expect that this may all be a joke at your expense…and this is totally worth the expense of the CD. Ultimately, I say enjoy the ride…and hope they’re laughing with us.
If you hate Children Of Bodom, you’ll probably despise this even more. But it’s ripping fun, and ultimately such a mindless good time (with deceptively great musicianship) that any suspicions of its true intent fly out the window faster than that last misguided Norther disc you bought.