Steel Panther – Interview with Lexxi Foxx and Satchel

Steel Panther

Interview with Lexxi Foxx and Satchel

O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, London

January 22, 2018

Interview by Sabrina Selkis

I am in the Panthers den, anything can happen! I do fear the worse! I sat down with Satchel and Lexxi Foxx before their “Feel The Steel” special gig night in west London on Monday evening. Enjoy this very serious interview!

Hi Satchel and Lexxi, thank you so much for your time tonight. I learned only today that I was interviewing you…

Satchel: There is no reason to be scared!

I’m kinda new to interviews, but I asked my friends to give me ideas for questioning you.

Lexxi: Oh awesome I like that.

But first I would like to ask whose idea was it to play “Feel The Steel” in its entirety tonight?

Satchel: It was Stix’s idea cause we only sold 70 tickets to the show so we had to find an idea for people to come down. Lexxi was like “well, what if we play naked?”

Lexxi: Mickael didn’t want to do that.

Satchel: yay, cause his penis is very small.

Lexxi: and he’s got a little bit bigger, when we were young it was ok, but now not really.

Satchel: plus this building is freezing so that makes your penis smaller you know.

Lexxi: so it was a bad idea on my part

Satchel: that wasn’t gonna fly so what if we played “Slippery When Wet” by Bon Jovi, one of the best album ever recorded, great fucking record, Michael couldn’t say no.

Lexxi: but it was too much to remember.

Satchel: so I said fuck it let’s do “Feel The Steel”.

I think it is a great idea, I remember the first time hearing the album and I was like “what he fuck is this? It’s brilliant”, and then the track “Fatgirl”, so offensive but so funny!

Satchel: you know… it’s… I don’t know any fat girls who haven’t heard that song and felt offended yet. I think fat people, and I am not fat, fat people know that they’re fat.

Lexxi: If they really cared they would do something about it, maybe don’t drive your car to work.

Satchel: I think they love food more than they hate being called fat, which I understand cause I love food too. I love cocaine more than I hate being called a looser.

Does that fat girl have a name?

Satchel: you know what, that song was written quite some time ago and we do fuck a lot of fat girls, they love food and they love to fuck.

So what’s your favourite food to spread on a groupie?

Lexxi: I don’t like food, I do only eat cause I gotta live.

Satchel: I’d choose Nutella and spread it all over the girl.

Lexxi: You’d spread your “nut ella”, get it, from your balls.

Satchel: Oh that’s very funny!

There’s nut milk too right?

Satchel: Oh yeah I’ve got a whole bunch of nut milk.

Lexxi: Three times I got rid of my nut milk yesterday, it was a long day, I put it in a Kleenex.

Satchel: You wasted it.

Lexxi: But that’s what you’re supposed to do, you don’t want it in a girl’s vagina. It’s fun to put it on the faces. I asked my housekeeper politely…

Satchel: Do you speak Spanish? Cause all the housekeepers in California are Mexicans.

Lexxi: What?

Well, soon Trump will build a wall so you won’t have any anymore.

Lexxi: I like to get my drugs in Tijuana, it’s cheaper. I’ll get a ladder.

Satchel: You don’t want to go there, they don’t have hairspray, that’s how bad it is over there, dude.

Lexxi: No wonder they want to come over to our side.

Satchel: Do you know what else will keep your hair stiff?

Tell me.

Satchel: You saw that movie “There’s Something About Mary”?

Yes.

Satchel: It’s like a hairjob.

I never tried it so I don’t know! You were in Ireland previously, in Belfast, How was it?

Lexxi: Belfast was amazing, oh my god!

Satchel: Steel Panther’s audience are awesome almost everywhere, they’re all great. There are certain places we  know are gonna be awesome and it’s funny cos Paris is one of those places, it’s one of my favourite places to play. We played Hellfest recently.

Yes last year, I watched your concert online, all those topless girls on stage, what a sight!

Lexxi: Yeah, that was fantastic!

Satchel: Canada has lots of great cities too, Montreal, Vancouver. Australia has always been great and some cities in the United Stated are super awesome too; Chicago, Cleveland.

Imagine this, after the gig you win 50 million pounds at lottery, what would you do with it?

Lexxi: First I’ll trade it into dollars.

Satchel: Noooo the exchange rate is not good, you’d lose a lot. You know what you should do? Let me hold on to the money for you, a person you trust, you can only access it through me.

Lexxi: Yeah, I wouldn’t know what to do with it, that’s why we’re in a band together, he’s helped me a lot. You do all that stuff.

Satchel: I’ll give you a hundred bucks a week, and I’ll take care of the kids cause you spray your nut milk everywhere. No social media for them till they’re at least 4 years old and then they can have an Instagram account.

(knock on the door)

Satchel: Leave me here, let me die. Sorry, it’s locked.

Ok, so one more question if that’s ok?

Satchel: yay keep them coming, I like your tattoos.

Thank you… So, will you play concerts till you drop?

Satchel: Yeah, I wanna keep rocking.

Lexxi: I’ve got millions of dollars now so I’ll just do cities I like doing with my band, I would miss them a lot.

Thank you so much, it was a fun interview!

Lexxi and Satchel: Thank you, hey let’s take a selfie!

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