Interview with Beefcake the Mighty of Gwar
Interview by Monika Deviat
November 15, 2014
The day before I experienced the Gwar Eternal Tour in Calgary Alta., I had the opportunity to speak to bassist Beefcake the Mighty while Gwar was in Spokane. Or “Spo-cane” as he pronounced it, saying “It rhymes with cocaine”. The band is in the midst of a tour that journeys through an impressive number of North American cities. Gwar is soldiering on after their bandleader and vocalist Dave Brockie, who played Oderus Urungus, sadly passed away after an accidental heroin overdose in March 2014. With Oderus missing from their ranks the scumdogs have joined forces with two new members, Blóthar and Vulvatron, who mysteriously appeared on stage one day through a time travelling device. They now search for their leader through North American cities and through time. Beefcake tells us a bit about the tour and we of course discuss some aspects of killing humans.
You are approximately at the half way mark of the tour, how has it been going so far?
It’s great you know. We’re slaughtering everyone from city to city. They love it.
Are you pleased with the numbers of humans you have been slaughtering on the tour?
Yeah. I mean we can always do better but you reproduce so quickly. You’re really giving us a challenge.
Have you come up with any new methods for killing a greater volume of humans to counter the fast breeding rate?
When we fight the Gor Gor, we try to get him to eat people first. He just shows up here and there. That’s the best way since he’s got a pretty big mouth. He can fit a lot of people in it.
This 62 date tour seems like quite the endeavor. What have you been doing in between shows to relax and/or reenergize?
I just play cards and pull one out every day. We’re also doing lots of crack and PCP. But I’m no longer mainlining acid. It’s official.
Is that a personal choice? Or has everyone in the band given up mainlining acid?
It’s uh…it’s…well I’m just lying about that. I am mainlining acid.
So Corrosion of Conformity has just joined you on the tour correct?
They were replacing Decapitated on the second half of the tour. Were the members of Decapitated afraid they would be murdered before the tour ended?
No, we wouldn’t murder Decapitated because they like to decapitate people. They’re a boon to our business here. They help us.
What is COC going to bring then?
They’re going to bring awesome fucking riffs and a great show. Those guys are amazing.
Will they be assisting in the killing of humans like Decapitated was?
I think they are probably just going to smoke some weed. Then sit back and watch us kill humans.
Vulvatron has joined you on this tour and her mission is to save GWAR from imminent doom. Have you and the other present day GWAR members been attempting to learn her advanced battle skills?
We just like to watch her kick Sawborgs ass every night. I just sit back and enjoy that because he’s just annoying and just keeps showing up. Even though we keep defeating him every time, he keeps coming back.
Some Earth physicists believe time travel is unlikely, especially in a backward direction. Have any approached GWAR since the appearance of Vulvatron in hopes of getting access and understanding of your time travel technology?
I haven’t seen any Earth physicists. There might have been some [around] but they’re probably dead now. We don’t even know how the thing works. Vulvatron just appeared on stage one day.
GWAR seems very good at coming up with ways to obtain money for crack and alcohol, such as with your collaboration with Mount Baker Vapor. What other entrepreneurially ventures does GWAR have in the works?
Well we have the GWAR bar which will probably open right after this tour. That’s in Richmond, Virginia and hopefully will be in every city in the country soon. You can dine and drink and die in pleasure.
Vulvatron is said to go through most or all of the crack. Has an unequal distribution of crack created any tensions?
Well she gets just as much crack as everyone…but she’s been stealing Pustulus’ boner pills. And he’s upset about that. I don’t know why she keeps taking them.
If you could choose any human who is not currently in your slave pit to be your personal slave, who would you chose?
I would choose Kanye West because he’s a douche. I would enjoy his suffering.
How long do you think you would keep him alive?
I would keep him alive for exactly one second.
What is your current favorite method of killing humans?
I’ve been microwaving them. It’s really fun to watch them explode in the microwave. I have a special human sized microwaved. We pull it behind the tour bus.
How do you power that?
It’s solar powered. We’re going green.
Anything else you’d like us to know?
Come to the Gwar Eternal tour! And prepare to die!
We also did a short physics based interview with Vulvatron that you can check out here.
Check back to metal-rules.com for our review of the Calgary show on November 16, 2014. If the tour hasn’t stopped in your city yet, we highly recommend going to experience it. And to possibly get microwaved…